Getting your ex back after you had an affair is not going to be an easy task. He liaised with somebody to continue his selfish lusting after my wife. One day someone called me on my cell phone and told me my wife has been spotted sneaking in and out of a hotel. They think she is sleeping around. I warned the caller not to call my phone line again and challenged him to show up and defend his findings. I thought it wise not to ask my wife, but resorted to watching her closely. Due to my tight schedule, I was not able to do a thorough job. As the reports kept pouring in, I caved in and foolishly believed them. I was so upset and heart broken. Instead of confronting her, I resorted to seeing someone else. She is younger than my wife. My wife is better but I turned blind eye to all these and wanted to pay her back in her own coin.
The problem with using flowers or other gifts as a way to mend a relationship is they weaken the actual apology. To your ex girlfriend, it comes across as, “Here are some flowers. These should make up for anything I’ve done wrong in the relationship.” It makes it appear as though you are trying to buy your way back into the relationship. It’s like saying, “I can continue to make mistakes and treat you poorly in the relationship as long as I keep buying you flowers.” Your ex girlfriend will see right through it.
One simple way to tell if your boyfriend will come back is how much time he wants to spend with you since the break up. This doesn’t necessarily just include in person time, but also think about how often he wants to talk to you on the phone, or how often he is sending you text messages or emails. Keeping a steady schedule of contact is unusual after a break up and suggests that the person initiating the contact is still feeling something for their former partner. Take note of how much he wants to talk or be with you. If it’s a lot, it may mean that he’s still in love with you.
Most will tell themselves that the cheating is only going to be a one time or fleeting thing which will make them feel better or relieve some of their stress and that no one will need to be hurt by this because no one will need to find out. Of course, the plan almost never turns out this way. People do find out. People are deeply hurt. And soon, the hard reality is impossible to ignore. The affair has only made the husband’s problems much worse. He still has all of the insecurities, doubts, and stress, but now he’s damaged his marriage and hurt someone that he was supposed to protect.
One relationship changing error that many women make before they start no contact with their ex boyfriend is they tell him of their intentions in such a way that he realizes that it’s little more than a game. If you announce to your ex boyfriend that you’re no longer talking to him, and you do that while you’re overly emotional, he’s going to view it as a tactic to get him back. His competitive spirit will kick itself into overdrive and he’ll set out on his own course to ignore you. Before you know it, weeks or months will have passed and you’ll both be too stubborn to reach out to connect with the other.
Acknowledge Past Problems: There must be some reason your relationship ended in the first place; you need to get past that in order for things to work. When to bring this up is obviously a big question, one whose answer depends greatly on what broke up the relationship in the first place. It could require a great amount of effort to find an ideal time to bring things up. Don’t try to hide it, though; anything potent enough to break up a relationship is sure to arise at some point. Better to confront things head on than to try to hide it; your ex will think better of you for it.
Let’s face it, we have all shared the same thought and there is nothing to be ashamed about. After all, we are just people with weaknesses. It’s a good thing that you are able to recognize these thoughts because it’s an important part of the process to recognize the state your mind is in after what he put you through. Many girls refuse to admit having these thoughts and temptations. Ladies, it is essential to the healing process to always say NO to your desire to get back with him. And if you need to know why this is an absolute condition for moving on with your life, then re-read Rule #6.
And, most of them will say that they don’t know what in the world they were thinking and that they should have approached their wives because their mistake altered her life forever. But the story they tell is one where they were feeling doubtful or bad about themselves. They were under stress or in a slump or worried about aging or feeling as though they were a failure or on their way down rather than on their way up. Many weren’t looking for an affair, but the circumstances were such that the other person was truly at the right place at the worst possible time.
There is no point in questioning whether your Ex boyfriend still loves you or not as love is a strong bond that can withstand break ups. But moving on from a positive to a negative, if you have made a huge blunder like cheating on your partner, then you can be rest assured it will take months even years before you can build enough trust with your Ex to start a relationship from scratch. However, if the break up came about because you were simply ignoring him or did something to hurt his feelings, reconciliation is just on the cards and if you take the right steps you will be able to get your Ex boyfriend back.
Optimize Your Personal Situation: When you reconnect, you’re going to want to be at your best. Make sure you get in good physical shape, get some nice clothes, maybe a new haircut; you want your ex to see you as the best possible option for them, to make an excellent case for yourself. Ideally, the six months you had since the relationship have been good to you, but even if that’s not the case, you want to make sure you put on your best face; if you look like you spent your time apart crying over them into a bowl of ice cream, you’ll have no chance.}