It is hard for two people who live so close to one another to keep their relationship in order, they even need advice for relationship. Most of the failures in distance relationship that we observed are contributed by the wait and see attitude of the couples themselves. This was caused by the insecurity of the couple as they do not think that the LDR will work but at the same time they do not want to put a stop to the relationship. Let me tell you this, if you plan to have this kind of attitude, refrain from walking into one at the first place because both you and your partner will suffer in the relationship. In a LDR, both partners must be committed and proactive in bringing the relationship to a higher level.
Couples do not set up a way to communicate with each other regularly. In a long distance relationship, advice on communication is key. Being miles apart makes communication an even bigger thing to have in your relationship. Couples who do not communicate regularly with each other tend to feel lonely. As a woman, you may feel that you do not want to pressure your guy or bug him all of the time. Instead you sit and wait patiently for his call. He, on the other hand, may not be much of a phone person. He may not initiate a call. So what happens? Distance begins to grow between the two of you.
The long distance road trip tends to be the domain of the meat pie and the fast-food drive-through. While it’s always fun to stop and get a tasty snack every now and then, it’s important to fuel yourself (just like your car) with quality sustenance for the long journey. Food that is high in sugar can cause crashes in your energy levels, and food that is too stodgy can make you weary after eating it. Drink lots of water (yes, this will make you need to stop more frequently but note our first point about frequent rests) and try to pack some fruit or sandwiches to keep you going along the way. Not only will this save you a packet on service station food, but you’ll feel fresher and more comfortable when you arrive.
Many other couples in our long distance situation have gone through this same thing. You simply run out of things to talk about. To go from 4 hour phone calls filled with interesting and fun conversation, to running out of things to say after 10 minutes of being on the phone, isn’t rare, in fact it is quite common in LDRs. After all, LDR couples spend a lot of time on the phone, where the only thing you can do is talk, and eventually you’ll exhaust every topic you can possibly think to talk about.
Another key thing is communication. You have to be able to constantly communicate in a distant romance because the less you talk to someone, the less you think about them. This means that as one of you drift away from thinking about each other and how meaningful your love is, your relationship could fall apart. By communicating and talking to each other every single day or as often as possible, you can succeed in distant dating. You have all sorts of communication method in the world today. Whether you are talking to them via instant messenger or phone, stay in touch! Talk to each other about what is going on with their current life and such.
So why? Because of the love we have for each other, simply put. We have become so connected, that to not be with the other, would be devastating for both of us. We want each other so much. Therefore, before you decide you cannot handle the long distance because you are tired of it, think about the person you are with. Would you stay with them if distance was not separating you? If the answer is yes, then you should reconsider your decision. You may regret leaving the person. After all, someday long distance relationships have to become relationships not separated by distance any longer. Can you wait for that day? If you love the person, you most certainly can.
One final and important thing to remember is that when you are apart you both need to continue with your own lives as well. It can be all too tempting to constantly talk to your boyfriend or girlfriend, but the time apart will be much more enjoyable and pass more quickly if you go and do other things, like see your friends. It may seem ideal to spend every second talking to your partner because that’s what you enjoy doing most, but at the end of the day you need to remember the other aspects of your life, because they are just as important.
Be cognizant of the fact that these types of things can be difficult to talk about if you aren’t used to it so tread lightly. Frame the conversation with smaller talk and then just come out with it. Say something like, “We both have needs from a physical standpoint and I just want to make sure you feel open to talk about yours.” That will ease any awkwardness and hopefully he’ll be able to express what is going on from that standpoint. If you don’t think it is a lack of physical connection, nor you two not knowing each other well enough than lets look to his other options for some more reasons he is afraid to commit.
Just like traditional relationships, it is important to set good ground rules and yes, have a plan. Couples that are unorganized and never set clear boundaries are headed for disaster. Most long distance relationships end within four months without a plan. Ground rules and a plan will involve things like how often you will see one another, if you will also be seeing other people etc etc. If you do not want to discuss something or a part of the relationship that is off limits, then make it known in the beginning. If you are honest up front there is never any surprise and your dating partner can not claim that they were strung along or tricked.
Much as a couple would do all they can to avoid being separated by distance, sometimes it is healthy for the relationship. A major piece of advice for relationships. A relationship that is facing or experiencing a rough stretch finds its cure in distance. Long distance relationships make people to really appreciate the fact that they cannot do without each other. Partners can really focus and see how much value their spouses mean to their lives. A couple that is always on a conflicting path should give each other a break and turn their love into a long distance dating. The partners get ample time to meditate and evaluate themselves on a personal level and what they want out of the relationship. Distance actually serves to bring a conflicting couple more closer.
Tip 1: Decide to be committed- Long distance relationships require a huge time commitment. Just think of all the time you’ll spend making and receiving phone calls, composing and sending SMS, MMS, emails and even letters, and you’ll begin to understand just how much time you’ll need to commit. Not to talk of the time you’ll spend travelling to see your lover. Time commitment is the life blood of a long distance relationship, and once you have decided that you truly love and want to be with this other person then you need to commit time to the relationship.
Tip #4. Know who to trust. You just can’t please everyone, we all know that. Expect that level of displeasure from people to increase greatly when you plan to get into a long distance relationship. As I said earlier, these kinds of relationships aren’t for everyone. There is always going to be those people who would disagree. Naturally, I’d say don’t listen to naysayers, but seeing that there are those people who have some sense in them and actually are concerned about you, take the time to listen to what they have to say. If you think they’re being unreasonable, by all means, don’t listen to them. But if they are just being helpful, think hard.